I meditated this morning and found that my mind was a bit foggy and numb. I slowly worked through it, 'putting my mind in order'. I really like this expression. It seems like the right way to start my day. Once I'm up, I take a moment to sit down and put my internal state in order. I start by sitting with my legs crossed. My hands overlap each other. Then I stretch my spine out and close my eyes. My mind is always wandering when I do this. Little movies in my head that can capture all of my attention to the point. While watching them sometimes I forget I am meditating entirely. I focus on my breath and try to let go of all of these little movies. Each time my attention is taken by one, I bring my attention back to my breath. This seems to be the first stage of putting everything in order. The second stage is fading into the background and just observing this web of thoughts and visuals and accepting all of them. Fading into the background and becoming an observer. I was able to slow my mind down before ending the session. Not as much as yesterday though, but that doesn't necessarily matter.
Meditating has become a way of turning down the volume on 'thinking'. I'm trying to move through my day in a 'non-thinking' way. It's become a little fascination of mine. The type of 'thinking' I'm describing feels like a kind of 'hesitation'. Being 'hesitant' is a way of saying, being 'not ready'. I wonder how do I create without any hesitation? How can I enter a state of permanent readiness?